For most of my life, I had a dream, and that dream was to be a writer. As a child, I saw the very romanticized version of being a writer, complete with big oak desk, a Remington, and stacks of paper.
I wrote poetry, had a small binder and filled it to the brim with my poems. I really wanted to write stories, but I was afraid to. I do remember several times starting one, and then tearing it out of the binder.
Fast forward to 2003. My husband challenged me to write the novel I had been talking about for so long. I wrote 20.000 words on it, and then fear kicked in. I called it: lack of inspiration, but that was a little white lie I told myself (given the ease with which I finished it a year later). But NaNoWriMo came, and I wrote another in 10 days.
I finally realized that in all those years in between, I haven’t done much to live my dream. I have done everything else with it (usually negative, influenced by the usual things a writer hears when starting out), but I haven’t lived it, truly.
With living the dream, accepting it with all you are, comes a catch. The universes way of seeing if you really really want it is by tossing challenges in your path. I have had my share of challenges this year, some I failed miserably in, some I passed with flying colors.
It made me realize that the challenges are a sign to remind you how lucky you are to be able to follow your dream. And how, no matter what, you have the strength to overcome every challenge, how tough they may seem. Because one thing I learned in the process is this: challenges are always the hardest when you play them through in your mind.
The biggest gift in all this was the appearance of my inner two year old. She gradually showed up in my writing, and I knew I had found what I had to share with the world. Her strength and joy are coming through more and more each day, and it is such JOY!
And just realize this: life is finite, that is the only certainty we have. Do you want to spend the rest of your days happily doing what you love?
I bet you do 🙂