Today I realized my asthma really needed a kick in the butt, so I decided it was time to call the lung specialist about it. To make a long story slightly shorter: I am getting the same medication I had last November. Back then I had a hard time with the pills, I was constantly hungry, slept bad, and had other symptoms I really didn't like. 

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Sometimes, when you are very elated (like I am now) it is hard to imagine that you will feel down again too. But you know that at some point you will feel stuck in a rut, or you feel very very sad. For those times you can make yourself a bliss book.

What is a bliss book?

A book with all kinds of things that make you smile, just a small journal, with pictures pasted in it, poetry that brings a smile on your face, quotes that remind you of the good things in life. A note of the small pockets of time where you experienced pure bliss. The more you add to it and the more you leaf through it, the easier you will be able to find your bliss in moments where life seems to be rough.

Give yourself just a couple of minutes a day to add to your bliss book, and give yourself a couple of minutes a day to remind yourself of what makes you happy. Of what brings a serene, happy smile on your face.

Over the next couple of weeks, to get you started, I will offer you some things that are in my bliss book

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I do not know if I have ever talked about my crafts in here. I am an
avid crafter, from knitting to spinning to crochet to making
patchworks. It is so satisfying and it is also one of the things I can
do that fully keep me in the moment. If I don't stay in the moment, I
drop stitches, or lose count. In this, crafting is a deeply spiritual
practice, which really deserves to be treated as such.
 
Just now I was working on my yoga bag, a colourful cotton bag designed
to carry my mat around in, and to store it when its not in use around
the house. I had finished the circular bottom of the bag, and wanted
to cut off the thread. I grumbled when I could not find my scissors.
Then I looked at the thread, and noticed it is built up out of at
least 10 smaller threads. I could easily tear them apart, and after
not even a minute of pulling, I had the thread cut off. Not pretty as
it would have been done by scissors, but it was done.
 
Then I paused and realized something. How often does it happen that we
are stuck in a habit or an addiction to something we can't seem to get
out of? Like watching too much tv, eating too much, sitting behind the
computer too much. It is quite common to get the proverbial scissors
out to drastically cut the habit. As in only allowing yourself only
half an hour net use a day, or eating a healthy meal throughout the
day, abolishing all unhealthy stuff. You set yourself up for failure
that way. Habits grew over time, and it will take time to get rid of
them.
 
So in stead of cutting the habit drastically, change it thread by
thread. In stead of cutting straight back to only half an hour
internet a day bring it back by just 5 minutes, for a week. The next
week, 5 extra minutes. Use timers to remind you of the promise to
yourself.
 
In stead of starting on a crash diet, vow to eat just one healthy meal
a day. Or vow to eat two pieces of fruit each day. And then after this
habit has set in, you can always expand to more healthy meals. Find
which foods make you sparkle with life, and which foods don't. Get to
know yourself this way.
 
Change your life in small steps, and then, all of a sudden, you will
look and see you have made positive changes in your life, and the fun
thing is? They seem effortless.
 
Allow yourself a small victory each day, in stead of a defeat each
day. You will grow more confident, and your bliss will increase
tenfold.

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The other day I had to wait until it was exactly 10 am, so I could order tickets for a special occasion. I sat on the edge of the bed, and looked at the clock.

9:59

It stood there for what seemed like hours, and I just sat there and breathed. Then, as if the molecules were insecure about whether to change, the clock moved to 10:00

I grabbed the phone, called in, entered the info in the calendar, and got up to get dressed. The next time I looked at the clock, it was 10:32.

Those 32 minutes seemed shorter in my mind than the one minute I watched pass on the clock.

It was a minute of stillness, where my mind did not take over, I just sat there and watched, and breathed to my toes. I realized that those minutes are way more valuable than all those hours I spend racing.

When you feel time is catching up with you, when there are too few minutes in the day, just sit still, and watch the minutes pass by on a clock. Feel the passing of time in stillness.

And smile.

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It is evening, I have just closed the curtains, and switched on the
lights. In the kitchen the pans are on the stove, and in them a simple
meal is cooking. The cats are cuddled up together, and I just finished
writing on my latest book. I look around me and I just cannot stop
smiling.
 
 
 
I do not think I have felt this blissful in a long, long time. Every step
I take, every song I hum is bliss. Even the rain falling cannot deter that
strong, soul-full feeling of utter bliss. It makes me realize, that bliss
is not something for big, huge events, it is for those small moments where
everything is well in your world.
 
 
 
It is like waiting for the moment you will be happy, while you wait, you
miss the small signs like I just had, the flicker of realization that you
are already there.
 
 
 
When you are looking for more bliss in your life, start sweating the small
stuff.

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Yesterday I had an awful day at the hospital. When I finally was allowed to go home, I was so happy to leave. When I walked out, the first I saw was the moon, looking beautiful in the bright blue sky. It was right across from the hospitals' front door, and a streak of an air plane went straight through it. I was so in awe, that I had to stop to catch a breath, both physical, mental and spiritual. When I walked to the car I felt my energy come back with each breath.

Then we had to pay for the parking ticket. It took a while as there was a woman shouting at a parking attendant. Finally we got to pay, and we walked back to the car. Then the second miracle happened. Moments after my husband started the engine, the song I had longed to hear all day (and could not listen to because the battery of my ipod had died) started to play on the radio.

It was on a station where they never play Tori, but now, they did. I sat back in the car, and finally let my tears run down my cheeks, all the fear just left my body. I came home, put my pj's on and crawled in bed, with a smile on my face.

Miracles happen, just keep your eyes open and you will see them.

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We are on our way to Amsterdam, first going to see the new Bond movie, and then dinner followed by a theater show. I dressed up for the occasion, and I have to admit I feel great.

I am wearing clothes that make me feel the most home in my body, strange as it may sound :)

I am myself now, pure and simple, I reflect who I am in my clothes and in the way I present my self to the world. I walk confident now (despite the high heels) and that is a wonderful feeling.

It also makes me think. Why would you ever settle for anything less than truly being yourself.

If you feel happiest writing, then write, if you feel the happiest digging your hands in muck, do it.

It is my firm belief that moments like I am experiencing now, those are the moments that count in the end. Don't be one of those people who, at their deathbeds have regrets. Can't make a change then, but now? Be yourself, be happy :)

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Just now I came home with a couple of chrysanthemums for my  small cubes on the coffee table. I started cutting the stems so the flowers would fit in the cubes, and filled up the cube. I had some flowers left over, so I grabbed a small pot from the shelve.

I put the flowers in, and then turned to put the pot on the table.

At that moment I froze. I looked at the pot, and then started to grin. Turned out I had put the flowers in a chinese pot with the same flowers painted on it :)

I love these little synchronicities, they make you stop and live in the moment, even if it is only for a couple of moments.

PS with the post is a picture of one of the many flower arrangements I made in the lil glass cubes. When I have found my camera again, I will post a picture of the pot :)

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Today is one of those days where everything wants to go wrong horribly, and it does. It started with my toe getting acquainted with the bed post in the morning (we have a four poster bed. Worst thing is that my pc keeps crashing in windows, so I finally made kubuntu my default boot on the computer. Of course I have a couple things I can't run outside of windows, but it should be fine, all in all.

All this makes me feel way less than blissful, and in order to get back to feeling it again, I decided to garden. The dog loves it when I am in my garden, he always runs around like a little pup (despite his advanced age of 15). I get to dig out the weeds and prune my plants.

And that made me realize something.

All the emotions and thoughts caused by my grmbly day, those are weeds. I can either let them grow, and fester and overgrow my inner garden, or I can just pull them out and go back to feeling blissful.

It is a great visualization too, with every weed you pull out of the garden, pull out one of your negative thoughts, especially those towards yourself. Then get a bag, and toss the weed in your compost bag.

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